One of the things parents are finding hard to accept is the fact that their children are definitely going to grow old. They will leave for college and perhaps for a long, long time as they settle down and build their own families.
It’s not unusual for parents therefore to feel apprehensive or even depressed just by thinking about it. Will I be able to see my child again? Will the distance reduce our communication? How do I cope with the possibility of not seeing them for a long time?
If this is the case you’re in, know that there are ways on how to cope better with your emotions:
1. Accept the fact. Look at you. You yourself have done it before. You separated from your loved ones to try having a family on your own. Whether you like it or not, it may bound to happen, and the sooner you accept it, the easier it is for you to let go.
2. Know the main reason for the negative emotion. What are you truly sad about? Is it the distance? Is it the possibility of lack of communication? Once you are able to determine the reasons, it’s best to voice it out to the parties concerned, yes, including the spouse. As much as possible, you should be able to get the assurance that marriage doesn’t have to completely change the situation you’re in.
3. Try to focus your energies into something else. It’s suggested to reduce the time spent on being alone and doing nothing. Otherwise, you will just keep on remembering the pain of separation and the anxiety. You may want to view the marriage as more time for you to explore other things, perhaps pursue a hobby or even go back to school.
4. Take the initiative. Don’t wait for them the first move. If you feel like calling or even visiting them, do so.
5. Look forward into the future. Now that your child has already married, there are more things you can expect later, such as the birth of your grandchild or the possibility of having more time to travel. If you are still apprehensive and it’s already stressing you out, you can make use of subliminal messages.
Here’s what you’re going to do. Every morning or evening stand in front of the mirror and repeat the following subliminal messages:
This marriage doesn’t end my relationship with my child.
I am thankful for the gift of new family.
I am looking forward into the future.
I can see myself getting happier and more content in the coming days.
Repeat these subliminal messages as many times as you can. Allow them to get into your subconscious. Be more open to the meanings. The subliminal messages can hopefully help change your mood from something negative to positive.
Marriage is not the end of the bond between mother and child. It will always be there. To get over the depression, just learn to enjoy the moment and anticipate the future.